Friday, February 12, 2010

May I Have The Envelope, Please...

When I snapped a truly ugly picture of my dinner about a week ago, I was inspired to start a contest for the most embarrassing food photo from my readers. Given just a week, they dove into their archives to come up with some pretty nasty food photos, indeed. Here are the contestants, each truly appetite-suppressing in its own way:

Cookiecrumb served up this delectable entry from her new computer over at I'm Mad and I Eat, a pig's ear with a tiny bite taken out, served up on a pink glass plate over what looks to my eye like a disposable diaper. Cookiecrumb is a strong contender.

From Southern California, Vicki at the blog A Work in Progress weighed in with another entry in the pig's ear category. I briefly considered giving a prize to this category alone plus another prize for food photos in general but, frankly, I'm too cheap. Have a gander at this one:

365 Days of Cartman is a blog in which Cartman is attempting to take a picture a day for a whole year. In a canny move designed to confuse the judges, Mike submitted not one but two photos, either one a serious contender. Because he didn't indicate which one he was entering, Dark Side of the Moon Sushi or the unnamed bowl of sinister spaghetti, the Blue Ribbon Panel of Judges considered disqualifying his entries from the contest but, in the spirit of competition, the decision was made to keep them in. See them if you dare by clicking on this link and scrolling down at

Wild Tofu Surprise from Peter at Cookblog. Peter's descriptions are always a wonder and this one is no exception. His food is usually layered, immaculate and refined but with this photo he has proved that even a talented artist and writer can produce a clinker every now and then. The expression "putting lipstick on a pig" comes to mind.

The Reverend Dr. Biggles at Meathenge, he of recent fame in the book "The Butcher and the Vegetarian" by Tara Austen Weaver, submitted this horrific nightmare of a dish, sausages that remind one forcibly of shit from a very large and well-fed dog and/or severally-severed male sex organs. We all worship at his meaty altar but even the great Biggles stumbles now and then.

We have added another prize option to the pot; I have ordered some copies of "BlogAid, Recipes for Haiti," a cookbook made up of contributions from several well-known food bloggers. Galvanized by the tragedy in Haiti, these bloggers put together a stylish cookbook within three weeks. All the proceeds from the sale of this book will go to Doctors Without Borders or the Canadian Red Cross. If you want to read more about this option, follow this link to Tara Austen Weaver's site: The other two prize options, Mollie Wizenberg's "A Homemade Life," or Jason Epstein's "Eating" are still available and the winner will have her/his choice.

Needless to say, this was a difficult decision, requiring minute examinations of the photographs; serious discussions of light, composition and style; and cogitation on the artistic references contained in the pictures. My Beloved and I put nearly five whole minutes into the decision but were able, finally, to award the prize for the Most Embarrassing Food Photo to (drum roll)....

VICKI, at A Work in Progress!

The judges felt that not only was the subject matter of dubious deliciosity but the layout was equally uninspired and the colorless swine ears don't even look like something one would eat. The third judge, Cora, however, disagreed and offered to scarf those right up if Vicki will send them to her; however, she was outvoted.

Congratulations, Vicki!

Send me an email at PamelaHyland(at) to tell me which prize you'd like to claim and your mailing address and we will rush your choice of prizes out to you as soon as we can. Thanks to everyone for your entries and your good sportspersonship!

Let's have no bellyaching from the losers, okay?



Blogger Chilebrown said...

Can we vote? I made the horrific nightmare sausage. Oh wow!

Thursday, February 11, 2010  
Blogger Canyonrescuegear said...

Wow, I got an honorable mention!!! The spagetti in question was Mongolian BBQ that was not even a little bit good. Thanks


Thursday, February 11, 2010  
Blogger Zoomie said...

Chilebrown, you couldn't be an objective judge, could you? The decision of the judges is final. :-)

Cartman, indeed, your entries were terrific, bordering on the nauseating. Kudos to you!

Friday, February 12, 2010  
Blogger Rev. Biggles said...

Aaawwwww maaaannnnn. I thought I had this for sure, turds and penises?

Go Vicki !!!

Friday, February 12, 2010  
Blogger namastenancy said...

Trust Pam to turn a pig's ear into a silk purse. Those were an awesome batch of nauseating photos but I agree with your choice. Vicki - Internet fame is yours. Now, gimme a pig's FOOT and a bottle of beer! ...

Friday, February 12, 2010  
Blogger cookiecrumb said...

I deserve extra points, because the picture Biggles entered was taken at my house. And I ate that nightmare sausage.
Oh, well. Doesn't matter. I lost. ;-(
Congratulations, Vicki!

Friday, February 12, 2010  
Blogger Zoomie said...

Biggles, you missed it by a hair - if there had been a hair in that photo, you'd surely have won!

Nancy, if you actually do eat pigs' feet, you shoulda entered a photo - you might have been the big winner!

Cookiecrumb, yours was really icky but Vicki was the three-to-one favorite. :-) I can lend you those books to read, if that would help you feel better...

Saturday, February 13, 2010  
Blogger Vicki said...

I'm not sure if I should be excited or depressed :)

namastenancy - I did feet too, a la Thomas Keller. Slightly more appetizing pictures, but only because you couldn't tell it was a foot.

Saturday, February 13, 2010  
Blogger Zoomie said...

Vicki, hearty congrats and Happy Valentine's day.

Sunday, February 14, 2010  

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