Pepe LePew's Revenge

Early morning, still a little gray outside - the motion-sensitive light I installed by the front door comes on as Cora and I pass by on our way to Poop Heaven and picking up the newspapers from the front steps, respectively. All is peaceful. She charges away toward the culvert under the street.

A quick shake of the head as she pokes her nose into the culvert, then another shake and she backs out, miserable, sprayed with skunk straight into her very sensitive nose. Desperately rubbing her face on anything nearby - my bathrobe, the bushes, the doormat, the wall of the house.

I called the Pet Emergency hospital and, blessedly, they have a recipe for washing out the smell that a very angry Pepe LePew leaves behind, so My Beloved rushes out at 7am to the local Rite Aid where, thank heavens!, they are open early on a Sunday morning and selling the ingredients. While he's gone, I prep the bathroom with dog towels and remove everything else.

Cora has never been bathed in this house before - usually, I treat myself to a cup of Catahoula coffee at Sit and Stay while she is bathed at Mudpuppy's. That may be a good thing as she balks before getting into the tub, but doesn't refuse utterly, having no prior knowledge.

I won't go into all the rest - the bending, the struggling, the sopping wet clothes, towels and dog lovers - but will simply give you the recipe. This is a recipe blog, right?

Skunk De-Smeller

1 quart of hydrogen peroxide (2 quarts if your dog is as big as Cora or was liberally sprayed)

1/4 cup baking soda (1/2 cup for a big dog)

1 teaspoon Dawn blue dishwashing liquid (2 teaspoons for a big dog)

Mix the ingredients together (they will fizz, so don't ever contain this stuff in a glass bottle or jar). Dress in your oldest/least favorite clothes. Wet the dog thoroughly, right down to the skin, on all skunk-sprayed parts with the solution, taking care not to get it in her eyes or nose (the dishwashing liquid would sting like crazy). Rinse well with clear water.

Hydrogen peroxide to work chemically with the sulphur in the skunk oil. Baking soda to neutralize odor. Dishwashing liquid because it cuts through oil/grease. Only a slight miasmal cloud follows her now from which we get a whiff from time to time.

The moral of the story is: Don't Mess With Pepe.