Gathering Traditions

Thanksgiving isn't a particular day; it's the day when your loved ones gather.

Years ago, when I lived in western New York and my pal Wenirs and her family lived a mere six hour drive away in Michigan, we developed a strong tradition of spending holidays together and it was rare that we missed a Thanksgiving. One year, it snowed and sleeted so hard that we simply couldn't make the drive, slogging sadly to the local Wegmans market to buy a small turkey to eat with just the two of us. Most years, however, either they would drive east or we would drive west, usually on Thanksgiving day to avoid the traffic, and we'd celebrate the holiday the next day.

Since I moved to California, our Thanksgivings together have been far fewer, but this year I managed to snag Wenirs' son Mark for a second Thanksgiving dinner on the Saturday after. He drove up from LA and while he was sleeping off his long drive, I put a second turkey on the rotisserie and set a table filled with family traditions.

The table itself was a gift from our friends Irene and Guy. The china originated with my great-grandmother; the silver was a wedding gift from my parents; the water glasses came from my mother's best friend (and Wenirs' mother), Bobbie, for my sister, who sent them to me. The wine glasses were a wedding gift from My Beloved's brother Ted. On the plate, in addition to the traditional turkey, are our good friend Jack's mashed potatoes as well as wild rice and black olives in honor of Wenirs who always served those at her Thanksgiving table. The squash is a new recipe to me this year but one that was such a hit that it will become traditional from now on.

Thanksgiving isn't a particular day; it's the day when your loved ones gather, whether in person or in spirit.

Thanksgiving

I am thankful for family and old and new friends, none more than the Davenport clan with whom I literally shared a playpen and with whom we are still good friends 50+ years later.

When I lived in WNY state, I spent most Thanksgivings with their daughter Wendy and her family, even before the two children came along. I am proud to be the children's Fairy Godmother.

We always sat down to Thanksgiving dinner on the Friday after, as driving from Detroit to Rochester, or the reverse, was much easier on Thanksgiving Day when most other travelers were already at their destinations. We always felt that Thanksgiving isn't a specific date; it's when your loved ones are with you.

We had many happy times together, but those opportunities shrank when I moved to California and the children grew up and moved away to college - it wasn't the same when we couldn't all be together. But last year, My Beloved and I conspired with the now-grown children to surprise Wendy and Ray with a visit on Thanksgiving. With emails and phone calls flying back and forth we arranged flights, made reservations, sneaked secret airport pickups and were all calmly sitting at the table in Michigan toasting each other with champagne when Wendy and Ray walked in. Comrades in conspiracy - it was our finest hour! This picture was taken at that time.

This year, we'll be in Hawaii with our Island ohana, both the much-loved blood relatives and the extended family we have collected there over many years. We'll sit down with a multi-generational group ranging in age from 90+ to almost 12. Our oldest guest still plays a wicked game of tennis. Our youngest one is an animal lover who will enjoy introducing us to all her pets. My old pal Meredith will bring her famous Pumpkin Crunch dessert and we'll share pictures of our grandchildren. I expect there will be other guests as well, as my brother's wife is the soul of hospitality. We'll arrange long tables on the lanai, cover them with a bright Hawaiian print cloth and freshly picked flowers from the garden, sit down in mismatched chairs and enjoy another kind of togetherness.

While we're in Hawaii, we'll be making new friends, too. Michelle and I have made plans to meet at a coffee shop and to stroll the farmer's market there together. Ain't life grand?

Happy Thanksgiving!