The Lucky Ones

 Well, here I am again. A couple of years have passed since I last wrote a blog post but everything in our lives for the past six months has changed due to the Covid pandemic, and the addition of dangerous levels of smoke from the many fires in California, Oregon, and Washington have finally brought me to my knees. 

The lockdown caused by the virus wasn't too bad - I missed things like riding lessons at my stable and not seeing my grandchildren frequently and always at a distance, but I counted myself amongst the lucky ones who weren't worried about losing a job (I'm retired) and my income (pensions, thank heavens), or trying to homeschool young children. My Beloved and I even continued (masked and distanced) to deliver for our Meals on Wheels clients, so we got out of the house once a week to do something rewarding. As I said, we were the lucky ones.

Then, the fires began and, again, we were still amongst the lucky ones. The fires were not close to our house and no one we knew was threatened, at first. But the heavy smoke blew all over California and turned, for a least one day, the sky a dull orange color, darkening the sky so much that our automatic headlights came on as we delivered at noontime for Meals on Wheels. Each day since has come with gray smoke in the air and a layer of ash falling like dirty snow over everything. That snow represents peoples' homes, and cherished mementos, and livelihoods, not to mention their very lives. That recognition has weight, even for the lucky ones.

That level of smoke meant that it was advisable to stay indoors as much as possible. One of my small pleasures during the Covid lockdown has been to sit outside on our deck to read in the afternoon. I would take a magazine or a book out there, with a glass of ice water, and spend a few hours under the sunshade either reading or chatting with neighbors who stopped by, carefully distanced, or strangers who found their way down our small street. So, when the smoke came, I had to come indoors.

Yes, I can still read inside. But it got harder to feel lucky, much harder.