Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Finalists

***EEK! I previewed this post and it looked as if it lined up, but now the alignment of photos and text are all over the place! I hope you can read the text and understand which photos they go with - each is sequential, even tho' they don't match up! Apologies!***

I really shouldn't have eliminated myself from the Ugly Food Photo contest - I took this one, for example. That is not plastic wrap over my baked-egg-and-duxelles. Need I say more?

Anyway, I made the rules so I guess I have to stick to them. Scroll down to find the official entries in the contest:






Here's a beauty from our lurker who has not yet started a blog of her own, The Evil Empress. Her photo of guacamole in a bowl belies her claim that it was truly delicious. By her own admission, it looks like glistening green vomit.



Or, how about this from Nancy over at Chez NamasteNancy? Not only is the chicken curry lightly green in this light, the placemat is off-center, the plate doesn't look too clean (I'm sure that's just steam from the hot food, right? Right??) and the drops of sauce on the rim don't add to the overall beauty, do they?


The judges were quite impressed with this entry from the Mad Meat Genius. It's cole slaw. No, really, it's cole slaw! Paul didn't explain why it looks wormy as well as slimy - we'll leave that to your imagination.






Kitt over at The Kittalog submitted this nightmarish fruit terrine photo. I gather there was a problem with the gelatin. There's a texture that I, for one, would pass up on a buffet.



Some of our contestants actually published their photos online and sent us links. The judges felt that they deserved extra points for sheer chutzpah. Here are the shameless entries, the ones that actually saw the light of day:

From Ali at Green and Lean, a roasted carrot and garlic purée mixed with brown rice medley risotto. Ali at least dressed up the photo with a glass of wine and a pretty utensil but does that really retrieve the dish from true visual ghastliness? See the final photo in the series if you dare.

From Cookiecrumb, who usually wows us with her photography as well as her writing, a pan of meatloaf that looks pretty dry and dull, with mad splatters on the white pan. She calls it butt ugly. We would agree.

From Nancy over at Chez NamasteNancy, we have two submissions, both pretty darn ugly. Her chicken curry photo (above) was bad enough, but then she included her Jolly Green Glop picture, too. I defy you to decide which is worse.

After serious study and careful consideration, the judges have reached a verdict. While all these entries have merit, only one can actually take the prize. The brand new kitchen implement goes to....

may I have the envelope, please?...

... fumble, fumble with the envelope....

...finally remove the card with a flourish...

....and announce the winner is....

THE EVIL EMPRESS!

That stingy blob of vomitous green at the bottom of a too-large bowl was truly stomach-turning. The photo is off center, and not in a good way. The focus is (mercifully) a little fuzzy on the guac. And what's with that little red thing on the side; to us, it looks ominous. No chips for dipping, mysterious background with stray crumbs. Overall, a true winner. Congratulations, (I think?), to the Evil Empress for the 2011 Ugliest Food Photo! Her brand new kitchen implement will be on its way to her forthwith.


***A bonus! Ms Mouse of Dancing Mouse declined to enter the contest this year but she found a link to a whole site of nothing but really revolting food photos. If you are looking to degrade your photographic technique so as to win next year's contest, go here if you'd like to disgust yourself even more. So far, as bad as we are, we are more or less bush league by comparison with these guys!



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6 Comments:

Blogger Nancy Ewart said...

My plates are too clean! They are just old glass and a bit scratched - and after that, I didn't WIN? Ah well, tomorrow is another day. Congratulations to the Evil Empress.

Thursday, March 10, 2011  
Blogger cookiecrumb said...

Clapclapclapclap for Evil Empress. Cue up the orchestra, her thank-you speech is going too long.
Nice work, Z.

Thursday, March 10, 2011  
Blogger Nancy Ewart said...

Oh yes, congratulations also to Ms. Z because it wasn't easy to chose the most ugly. Every photo deserved a prize - from the worms to the brick of a meatloaf. I learned a lot about food photography which is a skill I'm having to learn fast as I continue to write my food column. Actually, I need my own food stylist because photographing food well is more difficult than I realized.

Thursday, March 10, 2011  
Blogger cookiecrumb said...

(Nancy, go visit Saveur.com for some photoing inspiration.)

Thursday, March 10, 2011  
Blogger Nancy Ewart said...

I have inspiration. I just don't have the skills (woe, woe, woe). But I am also very crafty. I found a Dover book full of royalty free 19th century Victorian clip art. When I don't have a decent photo, or time to do a watercolor, I now have great illustrations on hand.

Of course, I could also get inspiration from that site of really disgusting food images. Maybe I can build my reputation as the one with the most horrible food photos on the Internet?

But again, I am hijacking Zoomie's journal and chattering away about something other than the topic at hand.

Thursday, March 10, 2011  
Blogger Zoomie said...

Nancy, you're a good sport to congratulate the "winner" of this dubious award. (I know your plates are clean but I couldn't resist).

Cookiecrumb, thanks.

@Nancy, no worries - I don't mind conversations going on in my comments section - makes my head count higher. :-)

Thursday, March 10, 2011  

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